Friday, August 18, 2017

Why I fear independence

As I mentioned in the start of this series of posts, I didn't like the idea of personal independence. I think a lot of that had to do with fear. I'm using the past tense, but maybe I should be using the present tense as well. Whew, this feels like a weight off my chest. 

I feared/fear...


I suspect that many people do as well. I think we should talk about this issue, loneliness, more in society. 

I've talked about loneliness a few times here. Most notably, here and here. But I can and should talk about it a lot more, whether in person or in written form. 

Thursday, August 17, 2017

To be able to think plenty of your own wonderful, unique thoughts;

To be able to feel a wide range of emotions and feel complex emotions, fully;

To be able to meet new people and form all types of genuine relationships;

To be able to experience the thrill of adventure, big and small, on a regular basis;

Is truly a gift. 

Independence is also a skill. It takes heart, takes confidence, takes intelligence, takes experience. 

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Sunday, August 13, 2017




I think that any discussion of independence must start with a discussion on dependence. 

Being totally dependent and totally independent are not mutually exclusive. They can coexist at the same time. It's just one of the mysteries of how this world works. 

So before I say anything else about independence in this series of posts, I want to stress the importance of being dependent. 

Specifically, being dependent on people. 

The more dependent, the better. 

This isn't weak. It's strong to be able to humble ourselves and to be able to trust others. 

Just as long as we're being equally independent, at the same time.

Saturday, August 12, 2017


I'm going to begin a series of posts on independence. Not in a political sense. In a personal sense.

When I was younger, I didn't like the idea of independence. Is that strange? I don't know. But I'll start here.

There's a lot to say!

Friday, August 11, 2017

I feel like I should do something nice for myself today. Something small, but nice. 

Certain people have been stressing me out these last few weeks, unrelated situations to each other. One situation was about issues that  I have with someone, that I should have dealt with by myself long ago. My fault for not doing that until now.

Maybe I'll go shopping or something, I'm not sure yet.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Guy friends

They cannot be close friends. That is the big rule. If you become close, one or both of you is going to want to be more than just friends. Then it becomes a different situation, for better or for worse.

It's good to have guy friends. Males are half the population, after all. You're bound to click with some of them, it's natural. 

Guy friends have a different perspective on things, they have knowledge and expertise in areas that traditionally women don't have, they are often really funny and entertaining, they don't get caught up in a lot of friendship dramas. 

They make life a little more full. 

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

After a long hiatus, I think I will start writing again (my stories). My emotions are strong and flowing! There's stuff to get out. For me, this is good.



Monday, August 7, 2017

My future 

My future is not going to be defined by what someone tells me is right for me. I'm not going to follow what my family, extended family, community, or culture tells me is right for me. The only reason I will follow something that others agree with is because it is in line with my own morals of kindness and forgiveness for everyone, justice, hard work, and letting go of control. There's nothing in my list about materialism or excessively trying to control life, which I think I often see in the environment around me. 

Also, I want to add something about filial piety, respecting elders, and respecting the community. These concepts are big in Asian culture. I'm Asian, and I totally believe in these concepts. But I think a lot of Asians would say that people need to respect their parents, elders, and community even when it's harmful to do so, and that's when I disagree with this thinking. 

Anyway, what I see in my future is: not being rich, working hard, love, and having a totally unpredictable life.

Sunday, August 6, 2017


You are cold and calculating, not caring about others. 

I wish for you to feel love and warmth. 

You are pure evil; you concentrate on doing the things that will hurt people the very most, for no reason. 

I wish for you to experience and know abundant goodness. 

You are full of a wisdom and peace and joy that I can't understand, that only comes from overcoming immense suffering.

I am thrilled for you. 

You are full of hatred and rage; this is the foundation of who you are.

I wish you the greatest peace.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Some ways to be more genuine

Being genuine is important, because then we're being honest. And honesty is important because it is the foundation of love. Without honesty, there's no love.

Anyway, we can always be more genuine. There is no limit to how genuine we can be.

-Make mistakes, lots of mistakes, in front of people (don't be afraid to)...and then admit them.

-Smile whenever you're enjoying something (wear your heart on your sleeve). 

-Show people all of your passions and hobbies.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Things I love, not just like (as in, things that make life seem so very meaningful)

Dogs. Puppies.

My short stories 
Cooking or baking for special occasions 
Being in nature by myself 

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Random, late mid-year, review

I can't believe it's already August. The year is more than half over. This feels really bizarre to me.

So about this year so far, since January, I want to say that...

I have faced difficult and unpleasant truths about every significant relationship in my life. The truths I faced in each relationship were unique to that relationship.

I guess I got to the point in my life where I could handle the fact that life is really, really not perfect. Every significant relationship in my life is not perfect, far from it, and will never be close to perfect. Oh well.

I don't find this depressing either, not really. I just accept it as a way of life.

So that's a major, underlying thing that's been going on for me this year.

Going forward, for the rest of this year, I want to say that...

I hope that I fully embrace the unknown. Enjoy the unknown. 

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Different ways to help people, give

-Talk to someone when he/she is bored or lonely. It doesn't matter if you're not a good conversationalist. He/she will probably be grateful just to have any conversation. 

-Find out what someone's favorite food is. Then make or buy it for him/her.

-Introduce people, or groups of people, to each other who you think would get along well as friends. (For clarification, I don't mean romantically or as potential dating partners). 

-Assume that everyone around you has lots of problems in their lives. For certain people of your choosing, work on gaining their trust so that you might be able to help them with their problems.