Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Spoiled

I constantly amaze myself. It's funny that with everything I've said about myself on here...


I have not once talked about how I was (am?) spoiled. It's a big part of me.


I guess it's not a flattering thing to talk about. And I guess I couldn't really talk about it if I hadn't kind of overcome it, because I wouldn't have the right perspective otherwise.


Anyway, I'm here to talk about being spoiled now.


Growing up, I had everything. My dad made a lot of money. His parents, my grandparents, also made a lot of money. I came from new money and old money. There was money everywhere. 


I didn't understand things like: 


-being in want of basic needs

-struggling to make ends meet
-needing to work for things
-facing the uncertainty of not having enough money one day
-the importance of money

I wasn't and am not materialistic. My parents are not materialistic, and they didn't raise me that way. But, I still didn't grasp the above concepts.


Along with having no concept of money, my mom spoiled me because she did everything for me. She also didn't teach me many life lessons along the way. 


Thus, when I grew up and vaguely realized that I was going to be on my own one day (I am not a trust fund baby)...I was not prepared. I had education and academic smarts, but I didn't have life skills.


This is a big reason why I made the "odd" decision to work as a receptionist at a small office in a part of the bay area that's not extremely high-end.


I didn't know how to explain it to anyone at the time, but deep-down, I realized that here, in this job, were the skills and lessons that I really needed to learn. I purposely put myself in the school of hard knocks. I also knew that if I didn't make myself go through this, I wouldn't be able to survive anywhere, period. 


I learned about humbleness, I learned about injustice, I learned about adapting to new environments, I practiced a good work ethic, I learned about how to survive in a difficult environment, I learned how to do very practical but basic things, and more.


Anyway, I digress. This post is more about being spoiled and what that has to do with patience.


One of the byproducts of being a spoiled person is that I do not have patience. I'm not talking about patience for the "small things" (waiting in traffic, not getting annoyed at people, etc.) 


But in a much bigger, general sense. I don't have patience to work towards large goals and patience to wait for anything I really want.


Which is what I'm working on now.

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