My relationship with my mom
Some moms and daughters are really close and have a deep bond.
I realize now that a connection like that, took time to build.
I also realize now that a connection like that, has a relatively good history, from the start. As in, from the time when the daughter was born.
I'm realizing now that, the history matters. It really matters. If the mother/daughter relationship has had a bad history at some point(s), the relationship will always be negatively impacted by that, even if both parties make amends in the future. The history will always be there. The relationship can definitely be better in the future, but, it will never be what it could have been.
My mom and I have had a really, really traumatic history.
She wants to be close now. She's sorry.
I can move forward too. Our relationship doesn't have to be the way it was before: complete non-communication and screaming. It can be a lot better than that. We can even be close someday.
But, we will never be as close as we could have been.