Thursday, February 2, 2017

My relationship with food

Well, I didn't always have the best relationship with food (see here)...in a primal way, I didn't care about food...but that changed.


Anyway, I have a pretty good relationship with food now, which is that...


I like it!


I see it as something to enjoy, first and foremost.


I look forward to eating certain foods, and then I eat them!


Right now, I'm craving Chinese deep-fried honey walnut shrimp. Maybe I'll eat it sometime in the very near future? Life is wonderful.


After enjoyment, I consider my health. Actually, healthy food and enjoyment is somewhat intertwined for me. I often like food better when I know it's good for me.


Then after that...health and enjoyment...I consider my appearance/weight. My appearance/weight is definitely a lesser factor in my relationship with food. It matters...but not at the expense of the other two factors, particularly enjoyment.


This is a battle I often fight. I'm often tempted to care more about my appearance/weight than enjoying food or being healthy. My initial desire is to err on the side of eating just a little less food than what I naturally want to eat, just so I can look thin.


But I don't like being this way. I don't want to be this way. I want my superficial desires to definitely be last on my list of factors in how I approach food.


So, I fight my urge to care so much about my appearance/weight, with certain thoughts.


I think about...


1) How I would rather live a life of enjoying food (and life) and being healthy, than looking good for others. If this means that I end up looking a little larger than what I would like, so be it. 


2) This is my personal opinion and preference, but I actually think that women with some fat on them look really good. For example, I think Marilyn Monroe looked GREAT! But by today's standards, she would be considered a little large. 


It took me a long time to realize that I've been really influenced by what society thinks is beautiful. And it doesn't have to be that way. And it shouldn't be, when it's unhealthy. So one day, I thought outside the box and then I realized...you know what, I actually think that some fat on women looks the best. I really do.


My relationship with food...it's not a simple matter. It says a lot about me psychologically. 

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