Sunday, December 11, 2016

Continuing my post from yesterday...

Drafting contracts is not hard for me 

Reading through tons of dense legal text, quickly, is not hard for me
Understanding complex situations, quickly, is not hard for me
Talking to people about intellectual concepts and sounding convincing, is not hard for me

But working as a receptionist at a small office is extremely hard for me. So this was a challenge I knew I had to conquer. For my own personal peace, pride, and much-needed growth.

Of course, I could've just said who cares and walked away. We don't have to be great at every job. 

But somehow, I had an underlying sense that this job played to many of my most major shortcomings in life. Not just in the workforce, but also as a person. So I knew I couldn't walk away from this job. Not if I wanted to live a life I was proud of. 

In the process, I learned...

How to be humble. I had NO smidgeon of humbleness before this. It took very drastic measures, such as working at this job for a long time, for me to change. 

How to be human and care about things that involve the heart. How to have a heart, basically. 

How to stand up to people. (In my opinion, the hardest part about being a receptionist or admin is that people think they can take advantage of you and that they're entitled to). I couldn't hide behind my legal books, or rely on having a high status to help me, or rely on my academic skills to give me the upper-hand. Instead, I had to learn street smarts and a different kind of confidence that I never had. While still being a nice person and true to myself.

Working just for the sake of a work ethic. (My definition of work ethic: Work is good. No reason why. It just is. End of story.) So, even though I had accomplished a lot before this job, I actually had NO work ethic behind everything back then. Then, I had worked hard solely because of guilt and for bragging rights. It was different. 

I was so lacking in these areas that it took a job like mine to finally change me.

So I always wonder to what point would I feel like I have finally "conquered" my job?

Because, I mean, these are never-ending lessons...

I don't know. But I think I still have some more work to do in asserting myself. 

In any case, now I feel like I can at least see the light at the end of the tunnel.


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