Holiday Spirit and Magic
I can pretty confidently say that this is the first time in my life when I have enjoyed the holidays.
Throughout my childhood, my parents didn't celebrate the holidays. They're from Taiwan, so the holidays were not part of their culture. They didn't know anything about the holidays. I learned about the holidays mostly from school. My parents also weren't into family traditions, in general. So I just didn't get the whole holiday thing.
Also, not to mention the fact that my heart had pretty much been broken my whole life, and I didn't know how to care about things or feel things.
As I got older, both of these things changed for me. Slowly. I started to understand holiday excitement more, the older I got, just being around it and seeing it in pop culture and other people's lives and such.
Also, I went through things and my heart started to heal.
So this is the first time that I feel holiday excitement.
This is a new experience for me, so I feel awkward and I'm having a hard time putting it into words. Let me see if I can.
It kind of feels like a big party to me?
Not the stressful or draining kind.
Nor does it necessarily mean that there are tons of lights or that it's very loud.
It feels like a big, long party celebrating love. Something like that. I'm still trying to get used to this whole thing.