At the present moment, I don't think I'm terribly kind. I don't think I'm mean. I'm just not kind.
Even if I say "yes" to a lot of things to people (see earlier post). Those "yesses" aren't being kind; there I'm motivated primarily by guilt/fear of repercussions (so it's actually selfish in a way). I'm not motivated primarily because I want to help others.
I used to be a lot more kind. I used to bake cookies and bring treats for people in the office. Just to make people happy - no other motive. I used to volunteer at the Boys & Girls Club because I wanted to help kids. Etc.
I'm actually a little bit sad that I seem to have lost my kindness. But, I have no one to be upset at for this except myself.
I feel like I could write a children's book, "The Girl Who Lost Her Kindness." Yes, I'm being melodramatic.
I have a $1 McDonald's gift certificate sitting in my wallet. (I didn't buy it myself. I got it at church). I don't want to tell you how long it's been sitting there.
I'm giving this gift certificate to the next homeless/begging person I see.
And maybe I'll buy a few more after that.