Monday, June 13, 2016

My friend never followed up with me about supporting her on her long-term mission trip, after we got dinner to discuss that. A few weeks later, I texted my friend twice, 2 days in a row, to ask her for details about her mission trip. I wanted to support her, financially.

She never replied back to my texts. I haven't seen her in person and don't know when I will next.

So I was and am really confused. Why would someone not want my financial support when they were asking for it before? Even if she didn't need it anymore (which seems unlikely), why wouldn't she at least reply to my texts?

She seems like a really nice person too. And I consider her a friend, on some level.

So then my insecurity took over. Does she not like me? Did I say something? Am I unqualified to support someone?

Or maybe, I thought to myself, she's just really absent-minded and not good on follow-through? I don't know if she's disorganized, but she doesn't seem like one of those super, duper organized people.

I don't know for sure, but I think it's that reason. The other scenarios just don't make sense to me. It also doesn't make sense to me how someone can be so absent-minded like this either, but that's because I'm the type of person who would be super on top of this stuff. I can't assume that other people operate like me. I think I just haven't had the experience of interacting with a lot of people who are different from me in certain ways. It kind of scares me, what I don't know about the world. I feel very naive. I know that there's a lot I don't know. I don't feel ready to walk out in the world; I have this slightly uneasy feeling that I'm not fully equipped. I'm naive. 

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