Friday, June 24, 2016

Friendship

This is a different sort of friendship topic than the kind I would normally talk about. Than friendship with girl friends, with family or family-type people, with acquaintances.

When I used to tell people that Jesse and I had a friendship before he ever started liking me (or maybe it happened in parallel), but anyway, that friendship was the foundation, I got a lot of indifferent reactions. I'm not sure why people seemed to be so indifferent to this fact. I'm not thinking of anyone specifically or anything. But anyway, the general impression I seemed to get was that friendship, in a romantic situation, wasn't that exciting, interesting, or significant.

I don't know. Maybe people did think it was somewhat significant, but I just didn't pick up on that. Maybe it was my fault for not explaining well enough the nature of our friendship - after all, "friends" is a very broad term, I could use it to describe anyone that I just know by name. Maybe I didn't talk to enough people to get a better sample size. And here's another reason - maybe not everyone really understands how valuable and significant the friendship element is in a romantic relationship. Probably all of these reasons are true.

I don't know if I can explain exactly, why friendship is SO important in a romantic situation. It's like trying to explain what emotions are or colors are. 

Well, okay, I'll try. Here's my best shot.

Friendship with your boyfriend/fiance/husband/partner/whatever (and vice versa) is so important because that's how you relate to him/her, purely as a person. Not just as a sexual being (the exciting romantic and physical part). At the end of the day, a relationship with someone isn't really worthy, meaningful, valuable, or real, unless you are also relating to each other purely as people. Person to person, independent of any sexual overtones.

Here's something I wrote about my friendship with Jesse:

***

Friendship

He gets me, and I get him. It's a two-way thing.

And, 

We can talk so easily with each other. Conversation doesn't feel forced. 

And, 

He does a lot of annoying things and has a lot of annoying habits, but I don't mind them. It doesn't mean I like them. It just means I don't mind them.

And,

We just want to spend time with each other. Simply because we enjoy each other's company. 

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