Friday, May 20, 2016

I feel the need to be a little more forthright. A few posts ago, I mentioned how I have some goals for the near future. But I didn't go into detail. How can I ever accomplish them, if I can't even admit them and talk about them. So I will share.

I told Jesse that I would move for him, if we started a relationship. He's in Taiwan. I'm in California, Silicon Valley, where I grew up and have lived basically my whole life, and everyone I know is here.

If I start something with Jesse and move to Taiwan, then I will want to leave everything important to me here, on a good note. It's really, really important to me that I end this chapter of my life well.

I want to have a good, stable relationship with all of my immediate family members. My mom, dad, and sister.

I want to have peaceful and meaningful relationships with my extended family members, the degree of that depending on who that person is.

I want to be on good terms with my other friends in the bay area.

I want to enjoy being part of the communities/groups that I have been involving myself in this past year: my church community on Sundays and young adult fellowship on Thursday. These communities are not very established for me, but I want to leave feeling like I enjoyed them and felt integrated.

I want to leave my job on a good note. I want to feel at peace with my relationship with all my coworkers, feel like I did my job adequately, not get assigned too many new tasks, and enjoy my job.

All of these things I would probably be working on regardless of whether I move away or not, but it becomes that much more important to me when I anticipate moving away.

I feel/think I can accomplish these goals, or that I have a good chance of accomplishing them. I just have to remind myself that these are subjective goals and not to be too rigid about expecting perfection here. I hate my tendency to be so rigid about everything. It is my Achilles' heel. 

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