Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Am I happy?

How many of us stop to ask ourselves this on a regular basis? 

I feel like it's less people than we might think.

Maybe it's because we don't really want to know the answer, so we fill our lives and schedules with a lot of "stuff." Maybe we feel guilt and like it's selfish to be too focused on this. Maybe we don't even know what happy is, so we don't know what this question means.

I fit into that last category. Due to a difficult childhood, and subsequently difficult young adult and adult years, I know now that I've never been happy. I've had happy moments, but not been ultimately happy.

So this is the first time I'm asking myself this question. In my life. I'm 33 years old.

To answer the question, I could be happier, but actually, for the most part, I am happy.

I feel like I have okay relationships with people in my life on all levels (okay, not great), I feel mostly good physically, I have a roof over my head and food to eat and clothes to wear.

So that's where I'm at right now. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd put myself somewhere between 5 to 6.

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