Friday, January 19, 2018


When I was in high school, I really wanted to be popular. I think everyone does, basically. (I was not popular at all). 

Being popular is a good thing. It doesn’t mean being superficial, being dumb, being a mean person in the top clique, being a follower in order to be in the top clique...any of these negative things often associated with being popular in high school. That’s not what being popular is, even though popular people in high school might be these things as well. 

Being popular is being well-liked by everyone, for social reasons. Human beings are social animals. There’s nothing bad about being popular. It’s a really good, really great, thing!

This is something that is particularly important to us in high school, when we are becoming adults and starting to define ourselves socially as adults. But it’s also important at any stage in life.

For the longest time in my life, I was not popular. I felt so terrible about this. Am I popular now? Hmmm. I don’t know. But regardless of whether I am or not, I certainly wouldn’t want this to get into my head and become arrogant about it, or to let it define me as a person. 



Thursday, January 18, 2018

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

I'm hurt by a sibling who has only thought of herself since the day she was born. I'm hurt by parents who completely enabled this behavior the whole time and still continue to enable her now (they still have some influence over her right now, and they don't do as much as they could to appropriately correct/punish her).

I'm learning to feel this. Hurt. 

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Good memories 

Frozen has a dear place in my heart. I love that movie. I think that people may roll their eyes at the movie now, perhaps it was overexposed...but if it was, that was because it was a great movie to begin with. I don’t think it was just a fad.

It came out in winter of 2013. I remember hearing about it for the first time at Thanksgiving that year. My cousin was talking about it. She had young kids, so she knew about these things - current Disney movies. I did not. At that point, I was only mildly interested in current Disney movies.

So, all I knew about Frozen for a few months was that it was the latest Disney movie and good for kids. It also looked very, very blue - I mean, the movie takes place in winter and is about being frozen (literally). I wasn’t interested.

Sometime in early-mid 2014, I was over at my cousin’s house. I had nothing to do, so I took her kids’ iPad and randomly started watching Frozen on it. Right away, I could tell that this was a quality animated movie. I was only able to watch part of it before I had to leave. I was surprised when I realized that I wanted to finish watching the rest of it somewhere else. 

I got home, and soon after, maybe later that day, I downloaded the movie and watched the whole thing. 

I don’t remember what my initial reaction was, after watching the whole thing. I’m sure I liked it and found it satisfying. 

However, soon after, this movie came to mean so much to me. It was so much more than just an enjoyable, entertaining movie experience. I realized that I really resonated with so much of the movie, and I loved the themes and messages in it. This was deep! I sort of found myself. This movie helped me find myself. This felt so freeing, so good. And plus, I was thoroughly entertained in the process - I was immersed in a great Disney movie for kids (and adults apparently).

Specifically, I really related to Elsa. Just everything (except for her blonde hair and good looks!) I watched “Let It Go” on YouTube...all the time. I feel like a significant contributor to the millions or billions of views those clips have on YouTube (okay, rationally, I know I’m not even a drop in the bucket, but it feels like I’m a significant contributor!)

It also felt so great to be part of something that everyone was so crazy and passionate about. The love for this movie, and Elsa, and “Let It Go” even went global. I thought it was so great that this movie united so many people, and so many different people, in such a positive way. And I was part of it too. This warmed my heart :).

My passion for Frozen went on for several months (I’m still passionate about it today, but specifically, my initial, intense passion). This was certainly an era for me. It was fun, I gained more wisdom about myself, I felt united with others, and I just feel happy thinking about it!

Friday, January 12, 2018

This has been a really trying week at work. Some people truly think that they are better than everyone else. In every way possible. I guess that I still have a lot to learn about the dark side of people. Sigh.